i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
