we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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