So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
