jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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