just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
