Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
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You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
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Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Enjoy the penises
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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