Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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