with your own penis?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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