the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
