My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
