i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
