so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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