why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
