Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
