my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
