Don't you send me to vm
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
