maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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