you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize