i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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