We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
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It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
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Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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