Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
