So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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