Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't think brook has ever known best
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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