What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
