I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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