But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
