just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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