Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You need Xanax blowdarts
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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