Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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