In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
