He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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