We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
