No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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