Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
