I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
