they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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