I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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