perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Ladies don't puke and tell
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
