not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
