Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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