think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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