OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
