Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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