Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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