She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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