I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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