Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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