Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
third nipple confirmed
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
