I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize