I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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