Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
