she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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