addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
