so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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