You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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