I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
