What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i think i just lost a toe
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
