I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
