so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
