4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
