he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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