i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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