What a fucking waste of an outfit
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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