Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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