nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
