she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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