dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
